m1kclark's art Reviews on Newgrounds

[Bamboo Forest]

GREAT, needs 3 finishing touches

This is a really nice render, particularly since it's almost entirely procedural! At the moment, it actually looks like something out of Pixar's 'A Bug's Life', but I believe it needs just a little work to look photorealistic.

Here are my primary critiques:
(a) The bamboo needs one more texture; there should be a sort of general, homogeneous graininess as the base color instead of pure green.
(b) That light is too bright and white, I think. Make it a softer, perhaps a touch of yellow in the color, or use an area light? The bamboo sort of looks like there's a search-light on it.
(c) I know I've said this to you before. Sorry for beating the dead horse, but please BEVEL. The joint between segments is too sharp, it should be rounded a little.

Now, I LOVE what textures you do have on the bamboo, making it look weather-beaten and so forth! And the leaves on the ground are an excellent touch: they don't need to be absolutely perfect because they are the background, but they're high enough quality that lend ambiance. And many other details are exactly right (the random tilt of the bamboo shoots, the random segment lengths, random widths, ...) :-D

Overall, I'd call this experiment a success!

gr33bl3r responds:

sweet!

thanks for the great review!

Hmmm, another texture on the bamboo for the base, you are right! that would look great! heh you caught me again... i always forget to bevel. And the light too its actually pure white with no soft size. I really like the groundcover too. it took way too long though. I love procedurals ;) my goal is to make a library of procedural environments.

Thanks so much for your excellent critique!

[Gift for Vana: Proud New Mommy]

Cute baby

I really like that baby. He is REALLY cute, and I'm willing to completely overlook the fact that 2-month-olds don't smile quite that wide. ;-) I actually want to pinch his cheeks.

The only reason it didn't get a 10 is the mother. I don't know what's hitting me wrong about her. I think it's that I expect her either to be looking at the baby, or to have her eyes closed because she is cuddling the baby with her head on his head. Or maybe I've just spent too much time around babies, iunno. It's wonderful regardless, and I think it's a really nice thing to honor their new family with this image.

Sabtastic responds:

Thanks!

I agree. There are a lot less awkward ways to cuddle a baby. lol
I'm one of those people who has little to no experience around toddlers, so when I have one in front of me to take care of, I freeze and just stare at it. Had to actually google images "Mother holding Baby" to get an idea of what the hell to draw. XD

[Birds On a Wire]

Critical comments

I hate to be the only detractor. All my criticism is honestly intended to be constructive.
Your tag says "Blender", which I use. Four simple things that would help immensely: (1) add a second texture to the poles and transformers to make them look "dirty", like a Clouds texture using the Colorbar to adjust how big the dirty patches are; (2) do a "Fractal Subdivide" on each telephone pole (no more than 5%-10%) to make them look less like perfect cylinders; (3) since you have a sunset in the background, your lighting should be only from the sun and orange-tinted, with less ambient white lighting; (4) and finally (and I say this to almost every 3D post on NG), please BEVEL. No object in real life has infinitely-sharp edges, so make all your hard edges softer (for example, the transformers and cross-bars on the poles).
Really, though, the biggest flaw in the image is the birds. (Sorry.) First, the bird model is underdeveloped. The wings are clearly single flat polygons; they should have some depth, made in 3D instead of 2D, and maybe give them layers (either in the model or in the texture) to represent the different layers of feathers in a real bird's wing. Also, just about everything about the bird needs more polygons, as it looks like a 3D model at the moment. You might want to play with "Add Modifier" -> "Subsurf" to make a more detailed, less angular bird model.
The second problem with the birds is actually the hardest problem to tackle: they all look exactly the same. It's an excellent use of "DupliVerts", I must say, but there needs to be *some* kind of variation between the birds. I know this is bloody hard to accomplish with "DupliVerts" in Blender with just one model. BUT, you can make 3 or 4 resting-bird models, and try to mix and match them so the birds don't look quite so uniform. Or, after using "DupliVerts", use Ctrl-Shift-A to "Make Dupli Objects Real", after which you can modify each bird individually. An easy thing to do is to mess with scales in X, Y, and Z independently and do some slight (1-5 degree) rotations on each bird in all directions. These tricks will help mask the fact that all the birds are from an identical model.

THAT SAID: Your use of textures is excellent, and the geometry of the landscape is perfect. The overall vision for the image is high quality; in fact, if you don't Full View it, the picture looks wonderful as it stands. Most of the critiques above were because I stared at the thing in Full View for a while. You, like many 3D artists on NG, don't have the technical knowledge that I have, but are a FAR better artist than me because you have the *vision* and imagination to generate a captivating image.
Don't let the details get you down, and I hope I've offered helpful advice.

gr33bl3r responds:

thank you!

Thank you for all of the honest criticism! it is actually surprisingly hard to come by at this point.

you're pretty much spot on on the poles, looking at them now they do look a little fake. ill have to play with the textures, possibly a displacement modifier. good point on the lighting as well, my fill light is way too strong.
you really are also quite right about the birds, i really didnt put as much effort into the bird model as i probably should have. and as for the subdivision surfaces, you are probably right, i just have to be careful not to overdo it. im already pushing half a million polygons ;P

thanks again for the great review! and by the way I think that you are a very good artist.

[Blackness]

Very nice!

Post the others, I'd like to see.
I tried the two-tone thing (in my profile, if you're even mildly interested), but somehow missed the essence of the image. You captured the essence here, so well done indeed!

jewdozer responds:

Couldn't find your 2tone stuff but your 3d stuff looked very nice. The other panels to this might get me banned, they have sexual violence in them of the most degrading kind. Thanks for your comment.

[Origami Hydralisk 2]

NICE!

I think you should color it. Awesome work!

Pohmme-d-adham responds:

Thank you. :)

[Clone Wars, Kushiban Jedi.]

Looks like Mewtwo

The facial structure reminds me of Mewtwo more than a rabbit, and that tail looks like fire. These are not negatives, just comments.

johngoldenwolf responds:

Thats because he is a Kushiban.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Kushiban
;)

[Throbulator]

Friggin awesome

That is some EXCELLENT use of the Figure contest. Truly epic and original!
(You must tag it with "ngfigure2011" though, or it won't be included in the contest.)

Savory responds:

I tagged the map with it, I didn't think the render needed to be tagged. I guess it doesn't hurt tho

[The Void]

Atmospheric!

You mentioned in "Anonymous Anima Machkra" that this was for a video game, and I LOVE IT. I'm imagining starting, FPS style, in the bottom-center area and looking around at the ridiculous and all-white objects floating around me, and there's only one place that I can walk to. That place has a forboding, powerful looking face and a design that seems almost alien compared to everything else, and I would be forced to wonder, "What the hell is about to happen!?" I would love to play a game where this is the type of imagery used!

Now, I know Kinsei01 comes off cocky, but he tends to notice things that I miss, and the improvements he suggests are valuable (even if his wording is infuriating). If you get around to experimenting at all with lighting, you could do some really awesome stuff here. (I don't know Max, so I can't help there.)

VidGameDude responds:

Trust me i take in everything he gives me professionally and calm.
its just when he doesn't realize that you can click the picture and enlarge it is all =/

also this is for Matt's Epic battle fantasy 4 game.
not an fps, but i love the way you described it!
be sure to check out the other one instead of just this.

and thanks for the review!

l8s

[Balamban Contest 2011]

Echo VidGameDude

I think that VidGameDude has it exactly right, and that you are really talented. Good luck on the contest, and I'm looking forward to more of your stuff!

einharjar responds:

Thank you sir, i will continue to practice and post artworks in the future...:)